Sunday, August 7, 2016

The Exclusive Deal

It is better to travel well than to arrive. 
- Buddha 

When Buddha made this statement he was obviously traveling "business" class.  He was not traveling to Logan Airport on Concord Trailways.  Nor was he dealing with a two hour departure delay on Alitalia followed by a never ending line.  When the words "better to travel well" are spoken there is comfort and privilege behind them.


My departure involved both discomfort and comfort.  As a part time hedonist I prefer this type of scenario.  My discomfort began when I realized that my flight was not going to leave as planned at 10:45 PM, but 1:25 AM.  The discomfort continued while I waited in line for an hour just to find out that I did not need to wait in line.  Since there was no Kiosk for Alitalia at Logan, and I did not pack a cell phone, waiting in line seemed like the obvious choice.  

This is when my discomfort turned to my embarrassment.  Once I finally reached the counter and handed over my passport I asked if I even needed to wait in line - a suspicion I had all along.  The answer was a "no" surrounded by a smirk.  We both laughed.  This was also when my embarrassment transitioned to joy - I was flying business class.

I am not exactly sure how I got into business class, but I am pretty sure it isn't because Alitalia loves teachers.  The truth be told I guess when I cashed in my Sky Miles several months prior I never paid attention to the finer details.  I just wanted to get to Rome, Istanbul, Bucharest, Budapest, Prague, Berlin, Amsterdam, and Paris.  I booked the flight and figured that the details would sort themselves out later. As someone that usually travels on the cheap, and has slept on the ground over a thousand times, business class is a special event.  For me, sleeping in a van instead of a tent feels like cheating.  So it was not until I finished my second glass of Champagne, and I was completely horizontal, that I was completely able to understand what Buddha meant.  Exclusivity can be pretty sweet...




The Masses

It's not easy having a good time when it is 95˚outside.  Especially in a city as crowded as Rome.   But beyond the heat and crowds there are amazing museums, incredible food, and a sense of grit that I have rarely experienced in another city.  Rome felt like a city has been on a thousand year binge and no one has bothered to tell the citizens, side walks, and buildings of Rome that it is time to check into rehab.

I was completely exhausted by the end of the first day. Exploring a large portion of the city (at least 15 miles) on foot was amazing until it wasn't.  Thankfully the hostel was great - the shower and the air conditioning both worked and the mattresses in the bunk beds were in good shape.  Since I was traveling alone I chose to stay in a six person bunk room - it was cheap and I didn't plan on spending much time in the room.  Of course sleeping in a room filled with strangers is always an interesting affair.  Especially when one of the strangers is hacking and gagging every thirty seconds, but still seemed to be sleeping.  As far as I could figure, with my limited medical background, the individual suffered from either acute bronchitis or walking phenomena.  As the night wore on this became more and more of a problem.  No one could sleep and I was not ready to get up and dig through my backpack for my ear plugs so I made a suggestion, a plan of sorts, to the group.  Even though I did not know any of my roommates (I came in late and it was dark) I knew this was a public problem and it needed a communal solution.


The first phase of the plan was to draw straws.  Whomever drew the short straw won.  The winner would then move to the second part of the plan - to smother the young New Zealander with a pillow and put him out of his (and our) misery.  I was not fortunate enough to draw the short straw, but I did come up with the plan and offered to cut the straws.  In reality I did concoct the plan and it was a smashing success.  Not in a murderous kind of way, but in a comical sense.  We all managed to laugh for some time at the suggestion.  Since I was the only individual in the room that did not know the victim, my roommates found it particularly amusing.  Needless to say no life was taken in the making of my late night joke.  But I did get up and grab my wax earplugs.


I too created a communal disruption a day and a half later.  My plan was to do an early morning tour of both the Vatican Museum and Saint Peter's Basilica.  The tour started at 7:30 AM - before the museum opened up to the public.  Since I am annoyingly punctual I thought it best to set my alarm for 6:00 AM.  This would give me time to eat breakfast and take the subway to my destination and leave myself a little wiggle room in case things went sideways.  Let me start by saying that setting an alarm on one's iPad while wearing wax ear plugs to bed is an incredible act of stupidity.  It is also  an amazing way to become immensely unpopular with one's new found community.  Luckily my roommates and I had already bonded over the planned murder of their ill friend so my screw up was not as damaging as one would imagine.   After my iPad was shut off by my bunk mate and I was shaken into consciousness, I was up and out of the hostel promptly.


I was 45 minutes early for my tour, but felt it best not to mention that to my bunkmates when they inquired about my day. And the tour, overall, was a great idea.  I believe it was the first tour that I ever paid for and I was extremely happy with my decision.  In the past my philosophy had always been anti-tour.  Sometimes I would tag along in the back of a random tour and try to listen in, but more often then not I would read everything I wanted to know before or after the tour.  But the Vatican is a special kind place.  It is it's own nation state and it is one of the largest tourist attractions on Earth.  It was also 92˚ at 7:30 AM and the line stretched for a quarter mile from the entrance and the gates would not be opening for another 30 minutes.


The big advantage of the "Express Tour" was not the immense amount of knowledge that the tour guide provided, or the limitless amount of beautiful art work on display. The greatest benefit was the ability to skip the immense line and go into the Vatican before all of those hot, cranky people.  This was my second act of exclusivity on the trip and it was worth every penny.